Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
