fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
