i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
