You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
