Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
