I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
don't judge my taste in strippers
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
