I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
