i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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