Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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