Its about making memories worth repressing
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
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