What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Randomize