So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
