I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Maybe he injected his testicle?
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
