check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
