I cannot find my penis.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Randomize
