dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Randomize
