i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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