dude i'm inner monologue high
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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