Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
