I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
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