Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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