I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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