You're a womanizer and a bitch.
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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