I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
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