Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Randomize
