it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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