If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
