I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
