even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
this beer tastes like vomit already
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Randomize
