five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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