why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
