I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
