i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Randomize
