So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
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