never play flip cup with pint glasses
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Ladies don't puke and tell
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize