i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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