Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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