So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
