Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
