I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
