Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
