If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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