You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
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