operation harelip BJ is a go
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
there is puke in my bra ... again
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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