Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Randomize
