Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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