Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
