Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Randomize