That's when you crack a 10am beer
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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