so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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