Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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