but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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