I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
