Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize