Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I want to stick my p in your. b.
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Randomize
