i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
