Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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