Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
