:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
and she was petting her beer can
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize
