Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
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