nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
